Raising Black Teens in Mérida, Mexico: One Mother's Experience Building Community

Moving to Mexico with young children is one thing. Moving with teenagers can create an entirely different set of challenges. I've watched families come to Mérida, discover that the adults loved their new life, and then realize their teenagers were having a very different experience. Some eventually left. That's why I wanted to sit down with my friend Jenita Lawal. Jenita moved to Mérida in 2018 with three boys who were approaching their teenage years. Over the years, I've watched her do much more than figure out how to raise her own children here. She helped build some of the community she felt teenagers in Mérida were missing. Her story offers an important perspective for Black families—and really any family—considering moving to Mexico with older children.

She Let Her Kids Experience Mérida Before Moving

Jenita first visited Mérida without her children. She came for her 40th birthday after finding an inexpensive flight to a Mexican city she'd never heard of. By the end of the trip, something had clicked. She believed she was eventually going to live here. But deciding that Mérida felt right for her wasn't enough. Before making the move, she brought her boys to Mérida so they could have their own experience of the city. They explored. They toured a school. They interacted with people. They experienced Mérida themselves. That distinction matters. Parents can spend months researching a move and become emotionally invested in the idea before their children have experienced any of it. Jenita gave her boys an opportunity to form their own impressions. She remembers the way people treated her family during that visit and how comfortable the boys seemed. Everybody was on board. In September 2018, they made the move from Nashville to Mérida. Her oldest would turn 13 that December. Her twins would turn 11 the following January. She wasn't moving with babies. She was moving with three boys entering adolescence.

Homeschooling Wasn't Automatically Easier

Jenita started homeschooling after they arrived. And she readily admits that her first approach didn't work. She tried to recreate conventional school inside the house. It stressed her out. It stressed the boys out. Eventually, they stepped away, tried different approaches and found an online program that tracked attendance and grades without requiring her to become the classroom teacher for every subject. She also began using their life in Mexico as part of their education. A trip to Bacalar could lead to a presentation about something they learned on the boat tour. A historical walking tour in Mexico City could become part of the learning experience. She also paid attention to what each child naturally gravitated toward. One son was deeply interested in music. Another became interested in creating Roblox games, wanted to learn Lua and eventually taught himself Blender and began doing 3D modeling work. Those weren't necessarily items on a traditional curriculum. They were interests her children developed and that she tried to help them pursue. Her experience isn't an argument that every family moving to Mérida should homeschool. It's actually a good example of the opposite: You may have to change your education plan when you discover it isn't working for your child.

Finding Other Kids Was Critical

When the family first arrived, they found a local homeschooling group. Jenita describes it as a mix of families from different backgrounds and countries who met regularly. The children participated in activities involving money, practical skills, sign language and community experiences. It gave her children something else that mattered: Other kids. Then the pandemic happened. The world shut down. Her twins became teenagers during that period. And the social side of raising teenagers abroad became much harder.

Your Teenager Didn't Choose This Move

There's something I've been emphasizing more recently when I talk to families considering Mexico: Your children may have a harder time adjusting than you do. Think about the difference. You're probably the person researching Mexico. You're thinking about the life you want to build, where you might live and everything you hope to gain from making the move. But your teenager may experience that exact same decision as leaving a life they've already built. Their friends. Their school. Their activities. Their routines. Their sense of belonging. And generally, the older they are, the more of that life already exists. Then you're asking them to start again in another country, potentially in another language and another educational system. That's why I don't think a family can evaluate Mexico only by asking whether it works for the adults. You also have to ask: What is this move going to look like through my child's eyes? I've seen families struggle because the parents were ready for Mexico while their children were still grieving the life they left behind. Even my own daughter, who moved here when she was three and has now spent considerably more of her childhood in Mexico than Georgia, still talks about missing Georgia. That doesn't mean moving her here was a mistake. It means children can love the life they're building while still missing the life and people they left behind. As parents, our responsibility isn't simply to bring our children with us. We have to help them build a life here too. And that's what makes something Jenita's son told her so important.

“My Life Is on a Loop”

One of Jenita's sons told her that his life felt like it was on a loop. He didn't have anything to look forward to. That hurt her. But she listened. At around the same time, she was hearing about families leaving Mérida because their teenagers weren't having a good experience. She had also attended a conference where the speaker challenged people either to become part of a community or create one. So Jenita asked herself a practical question: What can I do within my circle of influence to change this for my son? That question eventually helped produce the Mérida Teens Club.

Mérida Teens Club Started With a Simple Problem

The original idea was actually for boys. Jenita even bought a domain based around the idea of teen and tween boys in Mérida. Then parents of girls started asking about it. The idea expanded. Eventually it became Mérida Teens Club. The goal wasn't complicated. Create opportunities for teenagers actually living in Mérida to build relationships with one another. The organizers established some basic standards. The group eventually focused on ages 13 through 18. Families needed to actually live in Mérida for a meaningful part of the year rather than simply pass through on vacation. Parents joined through a basic intake process. There were rules around things like bullying and behavior. Communication primarily went through the parents, although a teen chat was eventually added. Then they started creating reasons for the kids to get together.

Teenagers Need More Than Their Parents' Expat Community

This is something I think parents can underestimate. You can move to Mérida and build a great adult social life. That doesn't mean your teenager automatically has one. Jenita and the other parents created recurring activities. Library meetups. Game nights. Kickball. Holiday gatherings. A costume party. Parent meetups. And eventually a spring formal. The formal became especially interesting. Jenita initially didn't even want to do it. Other parents convinced her. The teenagers loved it. By the time we recorded our conversation, they were preparing for their third one. Jenita described it as an opportunity for the kids to experience something similar to a prom. That revealed something else she had learned about raising children in an unconventional life abroad. Adults may look at these kids and think: What an extraordinary life. You get to grow up in Mexico. The teenagers don't necessarily experience it that way. Sometimes they just want to feel normal. They want some of the experiences their friends, cousins or other kids their age have. One of Jenita's sons was interested in conventional school partly because he wanted to experience what other teenagers experienced. That's something parents planning an international move need to hear. Your idea of an extraordinary childhood may not always match your teenager's idea of a good childhood.

The Teen Community Wasn't Designed to Be Expat-Only

Another deliberate choice was making the group broader than just foreign teenagers. Most participants were from expat or immigrant families, but Mexican families participated too. For Jenita, the objective was community, connection and belonging. That fits another part of her own experience in Mérida. She didn't want to spend her entire life inside an English-speaking expat bubble. Over time, she became involved with local organizations and relationships. Her own Spanish journey also evolved from simply being able to function to wanting deeper relationships with people around her. That same philosophy influenced what she wanted for the teenagers. Not simply a collection of American kids living somewhere else. A community.

The Teen Club Eventually Led to Something Bigger

Jenita had long imagined having a physical space where teenagers could gather. She called the idea a “hang suite.” Eventually an opportunity appeared to rent a space. Her mother offered to cover six months of rent to help get the idea started. But that immediately created another question: What happens after six months? The answer eventually evolved into the Lawal-Sams Learning Studio. When we recorded our conversation, Jenita described a small learning environment for students in grades 7 through 12. She was very clear about what it was and wasn't. It wasn't a state-recognized Mexican school. It wasn't designed for every family. And she didn't want more than 15 students because maintaining a connection with the individual kids mattered to her. The program combined online curriculum with in-person collaboration and focused on skills like working with other people and giving presentations. For families who wanted traditional academic structure and priorities, Jenita openly said a conventional school might be the better fit. That's an important point. There isn't one correct way to educate a teenager in Mérida. The question is what works for your child.

What Black Families Should Take From Her Story

Jenita's experience isn't a blueprint every Black family should copy. Her boys are individuals. Your children will be too. But her story exposes some questions parents should probably ask before moving teenagers abroad. What will school look like? If you homeschool, who is actually going to manage it? How will your teenager make friends? What will they do outside the house? What happens if they hate the education plan you chose? Will they have opportunities to pursue their own interests? How will they maintain relationships with people back home? Are they excited about the move—or are you assuming they'll eventually become excited because you are? And perhaps most importantly: What will they have to look forward to? That last question is easy to miss when you're researching residency requirements, housing and moving costs. But for a teenager, it may be one of the most important questions of all.

A Successful Move for the Parents Isn't Automatically a Successful Move for the Kids

This is probably the biggest lesson I take from Jenita's story. Parents tend to measure whether an international move is working through adult concerns. Did we find housing? Can we afford our lifestyle? Did we get residency? Do we like the neighborhood? Are we happier here? But your teenager may be using a completely different scoreboard. Do I have friends? Do I belong anywhere? Can I do the things I used to enjoy? Do I understand what's happening at school? Can I communicate? Do I have anything to look forward to? Do I have any control over this new life? A family can solve the adult relocation problems while some of those questions remain unanswered for the children. That's why moving your family successfully doesn't necessarily mean your teenager has successfully built a life in the new country. Those are two different things.

Let Your Children Have Their Own Relocation Experience

One of the things I appreciate most about Jenita's story happened before she ever moved. She brought her children to Mérida. She let them experience the city. They toured a school. They met people. They formed their own impressions. Then, after the move, she continued adapting when reality didn't match the original plan. Homeschooling changed. Their social needs changed. Her sons grew into teenagers. The pandemic changed everything. The solution wasn't to insist that the original plan had to work. It was to keep asking what the kids needed now. That's a useful mindset for any parent moving abroad.

Our Children Don't Experience Our Move the Same Way We Do

My own family's experience reinforces that. Our daughter moved to Mérida as a toddler. She has grown up speaking English and Spanish, attending school here, making friends and eventually describing both Mexico and Georgia as home. Jenita arrived with boys who were much closer to adolescence. Those are two very different relocation experiences. That's why I wouldn't reduce the question of raising Black children in Mérida to whether Mérida is “good for kids.” That's too simple. A city can work beautifully for one child and poorly for another. Age matters. Personality matters. School matters. Language matters. Community matters. And your willingness as a parent to change the plan matters. If you're considering Mérida with younger children, read Raising a Black Family in Mérida, Mexico, where I share our family's experience raising our daughter here. Jenita's story adds the perspective that article can't: What happens when the children you're moving are becoming teenagers and beginning to build lives of their own?

Watch My Full Conversation With Jenita

My conversation with Jenita covers much more than raising teenagers. We talked about how she discovered Mérida, moving from Nashville, learning Spanish, homeschooling, building the Mérida Teens Club, creating the Lawal-Sams Learning Studio, entrepreneurship and the life she has built since moving to Mexico. Watch: Raising Kids Abroad: A Mother's Honest Reality What I appreciate about her story is that it doesn't reduce moving abroad with children to a success story or a cautionary tale. It's a story about adapting. Sometimes the thing your family needs after moving abroad doesn't exist yet. Jenita's response was to help build it.

Before Moving to Mexico With Teenagers

Parents spend a lot of time figuring out whether they can move abroad. Can we get residency? Can we afford it? Where will we live? Those questions matter. But moving with teenagers adds another layer. You need to think about how the move works for the people in your family who didn't necessarily choose it. Education. Language. Community. Social life. Interests. Connection to home. And the ability to change direction when your original assumptions turn out to be wrong. That's the kind of planning I want families to do before making a major international move. Roadmap to Expat is designed to help you examine the different parts of your relocation plan, identify gaps and determine what needs more attention before making the move. The objective isn't to prove that your family should move to Mexico. It's to make sure you're asking enough of the right questions before deciding.