After Seven Years Living in Mexico, Here’s Why I’d Still Choose This Life
Seven years ago, my family boarded a flight from Atlanta to Mexico. We had spent almost two years planning the move, but my wife and I had been talking about this kind of life since we were in our twenties.
We wanted to travel, learn another language, experience another culture and grow as individuals.
Today, we’re doing those things. But much of what I value about living here looks different from what excited me when we first arrived.
The adventure of discovering somewhere new has worn off. We have school runs, workdays, groceries, meals to figure out and responsibilities that don’t disappear because we live in Mexico.
And knowing everything I know now, I would still choose Mérida.
Eventually, You Have to Enjoy Your Ordinary Life
When we first moved, there was always something new to explore. We were learning the city, meeting people and figuring out how things worked.
Now, most mornings follow a familiar pattern. We take our daughter to school, exercise, have breakfast and start working. We see clients online, figure out lunch, go back to work, and then it’s time for dinner and getting ready for the next day.
Folks, the weeks go by fast.
We still travel and explore, but most of our time is spent living an ordinary life. That’s something I think people should consider more carefully before moving abroad.
It’s easy to imagine the restaurants, beaches and places you’ll visit. Spend some time thinking about your regular week, too.
Who will you spend time with? What activities matter to you? What do you want to keep doing, and what would you like to change?
Eventually, the newness wears off. You have to be comfortable with the life you’re actually living.
Learning Spanish Changed More Than My Ability to Communicate
I’m a much more patient person than I was when we arrived.
I’ve learned to stop and understand somebody else’s perspective instead of immediately getting frustrated because something isn’t happening the way I’m accustomed to.
Learning Spanish taught me a lot about that.
There’s a particular frustration in being educated and literate, knowing exactly what you want to say, and still struggling to find the words. Something that would normally be simple becomes difficult because you can’t explain yourself.
Having experienced that, I think differently about people in the States whose first language isn’t English. I understand more of what that feels like. And I appreciate the tremendous grace people here in Mérida have shown me while I’ve been learning.
It took about two and a half years before I felt comfortable telling people I spoke Spanish. Today, there’s nobody I’m afraid to at least attempt a conversation with. My grammar and pronunciation aren’t always right, but I can communicate.
One thing I would change is how consistently I kept learning after reaching that point.
I stopped pushing myself as much and plateaued for quite a while. Group classes and reading books with my wife at our level helped me start progressing again.
If learning another language is part of your plan, keep making room for it after you can handle an everyday conversation. I wish I had stayed more consistent.
Knowing People Wasn’t the Same as Finding My Brotherhood
We met plenty of people after moving here. People even joke that I know everyone.
But I was still missing something important: the brotherhood I had back home.
I wanted guys I could spend time with, share experiences with and build meaningful friendships with. Over time, I became more intentional about creating those relationships.
The spiritual connection took longer.
Back in Atlanta, attending church and participating in a men’s group were regular parts of my life. After we moved, we spent time attending our church back home online. There were also periods when we weren’t attending at all.
It wasn’t until last year, when I started a men’s Bible study in my home, that I found the spiritual brotherhood I’d been missing.
I didn’t realize how much I missed that connection until I found it again.
That’s something I would encourage anybody considering a move to think through. The people and activities that matter to you today may not be waiting for you when you arrive.
You may have to build those connections yourself.
Get out, attend events, meet people and have coffee with somebody you might not ordinarily spend time with. Building community takes participation.
I’ve written more about the different ways people find their place in the Black community in Mérida. My own experience has taught me that meeting people is a beginning. Developing the relationships you need can take longer.
Some of the Best Changes Became Habits
Fitness has become a much bigger part of our lives here.
I did some cycling back in Atlanta, but I wasn’t exercising consistently the way I do now. These days, I run at least three times a week. My wife trains in several disciplines and has completed an Ironman 70.3.
We could have done those things in Atlanta. We just weren’t doing them.
Now, exercise is something I look forward to. When I miss it, I feel like an important part of my routine is missing.
Raising our daughter here has also shaped this experience in ways we never pictured during those conversations in our twenties.
School activities, relationships with other families, traveling together and watching her grow up bilingual have all become part of our life. Without her, our experience here would be completely different.
We’re doing the traveling, learning and exploring we talked about years ago, while sharing those experiences with her.
Why I Would Still Choose Mérida
Mexico isn’t as inexpensive as it was when we moved here.
But even if everything cost exactly the same as it did in Atlanta, there are things about our life here that I would still choose: the family atmosphere, the relationships we’ve developed, the habits we’ve adopted and the experiences we’re sharing with our daughter.
Those things have become more valuable to me than the excitement of living somewhere new.
That doesn’t mean everything has been easy. It means that when I look at our ordinary days, I recognize the life my wife and I wanted to build.
Before your own move, think about what would make that ordinary life worthwhile for you. The relationships you need, the activities you enjoy and the responsibilities you’ll carry deserve as much attention as the destination.
If you’re preparing to move to Mexico, start with the free Roadmap to Expat Readiness Review to examine your plan and identify what needs more attention.
Seven years later, I would choose this life again.
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